I confess I was underwhelmed by On Stranger Tides. Oh, there was plenty of swashbuckly action, lots of splendid special effects and, mercifully, a plot which didn’t try to cram too much in. But there was a lot of exposition and as the film progressed I found myself becoming more remote from it, rather than becoming drawn in. I began to see it as a lot of talk explaining what was going to happen, and then it happened, and then a lot of talk about what had just happened plus a bit about what was coming next. I began to see Captain Jack Sparrow almost as a cartoon character, dancing unscathed through adventure after adventure. I began to see everything as rather one-dimensional and a little self-indulgent.
   Oh, it had its moments. The mermaids are brilliant, and there is one part of the film where two pirate jump side by side onto a bed with a skeleton between them, with the skeleton holding a map, and… No matter. Even if you don’t watch it at the cinema you’ll be bound to see it on dvd sometime, so I won’t spoil it for you.
   Not great.  Not awful.  “Oi’ll give it five,” as they used to say in those far-off days of Juke Box Jury.